For sure, you’ve heard it over again: Once you’re engaged, everything changes. You probably didn’t probe your girl friends who told you that, for fear of being disillusioned in your own relationship, but if you’re now ready, as you feel the question being popped sooner than later, then here are the changes you can expect after getting engaged:
You might experience a little more stress now
It’s nerve-wracking, often frustrating, to wait for that time when your partner finally gets down on their knees and pops the question, but it’s a different kind of stress you will experience after you say yes. That’s because the countdown to the wedding has finally started. The wedding planning begins. You’ll have a lot on your plate in the coming days: meetings with suppliers, venue hunting, dress fittings, guest list drafting, trimming, and finalizing, and many more.
Mind you, your partner may not be as involved as you want them to be in all these. Even the most loving, patient, and kind boyfriends cannot commit to the ins and outs of wedding planning. If you don’t agree with the level of involvement you two have on these preps, you’ll be under a lot more stress than you’re supposed to be in. In other words, it’s not just the loads of tasks that would make post-engagement stressful, but also the kind of communication you have with your future spouse. Therefore, it’s important to manage expectations already right from the start.
Your families will become more probing
When you and your partner are just dating, you probably have no problems whatsoever with each of your families. You probably don’t even think of your partner’s parents that much. Now that you’re about to get married, your future in-laws will be a constant on your e-mails or Facebook chat. They will have a thing or a hundred to say about your wedding preps. They will make comments on your guest list, or have you invite this uncle or that niece. They will ask you to hold your ceremony at the church and not outdoors because of course, marriage is sacred. They will have you wear heirloom rings because as they say, it’s important to carry traditions.
Here’s what you should remember when families become a little too involved: This is your wedding, not theirs. If there’s anything that doesn’t comply with your parents’ vision, they will have to respect your decisions. If you want to go for the beach wedding, go scout venues at Bora Bora. If you have a specific taste for jewelry, then go for customized wedding rings for women in Washington. Of course, there’s always the option to compromise, but again, keep in mind whose wedding you’re getting ready for.
You will be talking more about money
You probably talked about your financial situations a few times now, but that’s most likely your own money. Post-engagement, when planning the biggest day in your life, you’re going to have to talk about sharing money. You’re going to discuss how your families will contribute to the pool.
This could create a lot of tension among parties involved, especially if one is able to contribute but unwilling or neither of the families doesn’t want to share. It’s important then to have a solid agreement as to how you can handle wedding costs even without the help of others. You and your partner should be able to stick to the amount you commit — unless you’re willing to slash some expenses.
The truth is, after you are engaged, the changes in your relationship are a foretaste of what it’s like to get married. Consider it as a training for the married life. The key is to work together.